I am home safe in the loving arms of my husband and kitty.
I am not going to write a blow by blow description of the week I've just had because ... it's over. I anticipated it would be about the physical - my appearance, eating and training and it wasn't at all. That part was easy.
It was actually more about living with people who's spiritual beliefs and practices are diametrically opposed to mine. It also finally clicked as to why I have had issues with my weight all my adult life. My parents made me easily fall into the old habits of feeling inherently worthless and an immense disappointment to them.
I tried to respond to their criticism of my life, my philosophies and my choices with love. But it was difficult. I ended up feeling more like I made things worse rather than better. I wanted to heal the misunderstandings between us, but I feel like the gap just got wider.
But I did learn some good things. I didn't revert to eating as a coping mechanism but instead exercised to find some quiet, constructive time.
I learned to be thankful for the life that I have. I also discovered that the deep connection I feel with my internet family and both old friends and new friends is a treasure beyond compare.
I learned that I am stronger now than ever before in my life. I know who I am and I am not willing to pretend to be something else just to gain approval.
And at the end of all this, I have had a sneaky look on the scales and I am confident that I will be able to report a decent loss tomorrow.
I have also been to my new gym today and done a solid NRL4W (New Rules of Lifting for Women) workout and 30 minutes of intervals on the treadmill.
Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement over the last 7 days. It really meant a lot. Miss Katie of the Indestructible is BACK.
Welcome back Katie the Indestructible!
ReplyDeleteMiss K, Isnt it amazing how you have to go to your past to see how far you have come?
ReplyDeleteMaybe your trip wasnt everything you wanted it to be but very worth while by the sounds of it.
Great to have you back sweetheart!
XXX
cheryl is right, and i think you needed this to make you stronger katie. you rock girlfriend and you will kick arse in may - whooooooooootttttttttttttttttttttttt
ReplyDeleteHi Katie,
ReplyDeletewhat an uplifting and inspiring post. I'm sorry that the trip disappointed on some accounts but you came through it stronger and wiser and for that I say "CONGRATS!! WELL DONE".
Cheers
Magda
So thrilled to have you back, and I can't wait to see you. Wont say "meet" you - cause I feel like we've known each other for a long time!
ReplyDeleteWeek and a half to go!
Hey Katie,
ReplyDeleteNobody can quite make you feel as shitty as your family can. It sounds like you coped really well and worthless you are not. Your achievements are outstanding and inspiring. V good to have you home :) Look forward to hearing all about your comp preparation and your success
xx Tan (aka the 'Ration')
Yay!! Good on you for surviving the time over there (sometimes family just sucks) and coming back with a better understanding of yourself and what makes you happiest!! :)
ReplyDeleteAnother Yay!! :)