The Diary of a Figure Competitor

Here's a blow by blow account of the three days of prep and competition. I hope I am not inadvertently breaching the confidentiality code of some friggin' secret society of body builders. If I am, sorry.

** This is by no means a blueprint on how to do competition preparation properly. I deviated from my planned schedule and Coach had to make adjustments along the way. This kind of activity is unhealthy and you need to have advice and supervision from a qualified fitness professional to put your body through this kind of thing. I am no expert - please don't think that this is the "plan" you should follow. I just recorded what I ended up doing, rightly or wrongly, as a record for myself and to provide a wee bit of "behind the scenes" for you.***

It is long so grab a cuppa and settle in.

Friday
Morning
- shop to get food supplies for the weekend. Sweet potato and 2kgs of chicken.
- call into the tanning salon to make sure they had all my spray tans booked. Lucky I did as they only had Saturday morning. Book an extra session Friday night.
- eyebrow wax. Girl said I need to grow them back in the middle.
Lunch
- RPM spin class with Shannon and Tony. Try not to work too hard.
Afternoon
- shower and shave all including my arms.
- cook chicken and sweet potato in oven.
Evening
- first spray tan with Contest Colour. Looks good.
- undies and bra gone for the next three days.
- slight haste in shaving the muffa results in stinging cuts when I pee
- lay out all supplies for Sunday on a table in the spare room.

Saturday
Morning
- final shower until Sunday night
- 8am eat oats, skim milk and protein powder for breakfast
- start potassium supplements every 3 hours
- best friend Sue arrives from Brisbane and takes control of eating/activity schedule
- start drinking distilled water crossing off every 300ml glass
- 9am second and third spray tan
- peeing a lot
- buy correct brand of yogurt and rice cakes
- now an odd shade of orange
- Sue eats breakfast at shopping centre, Katie watches and then pees some more
- try to wipe the orange stain off the shopping centre toilet seat
- 11am eat yogurt, protein powder and strawberries + more potassium
- change into warmer tracksuit pants and hoodie as I'm freezing
- extremely thirsty - drinking water constantly
- place paper towels on home toilet seat to reduce the amount of cleaning required after peeing
- take train to Burwood to pre register
- busting to pee when get off train and have to use men's toilets as the women's are being used and I can't wait
- register at Mike's Vitamins shop. Meet the promoter, another charming man takes my details and other competitors wish me good luck as they leave. Routine music copied on to computer. Encouraged to enter both Novice and Masters divisions. Start crying when referred to as an athlete. I tell charming man a little of my weight loss journey and how I have never been an athlete before in my life (oh, except the 9km run in the Sydney Running Festival but I left that out for dramatic effect).
- choose my number - 16 - my birthday
- watch while Sue has a boost juice
- happy to be given an ANB baseball cap to wear home as the orange tan is attracting strange looks in downtown Burwood
Afternoon
- take train home
- stop to pee at the train station
- buy another 5 litres of water
- 2pm eat lunch - chicken and sweet potato + potassium, Sue has cold meat sandwich
- stop counting how much water I've drunk as I'm way past 3 litres
- sit in the sun and warm up
- eat a banana
- 4pm hair is blow dried at salon
- 4.15pm fourth and fifth spray tan
- Sue orders Thai curry and brings home for dinner
- 5pm eat more chicken and sweet potato + potassium
- prepare food (measure and put in containers) for the rest of the day and Sunday
Evening
- Sue applies false fingernails and toenails to Katie
- 8pm eat even more chicken and sweet potato + potassium
- feeling stinky and sweaty, need a shower, a fresh set of trackies will have to do
- start having leg cramps
- 9-30pm eat vanilla and chocolate paddlepop very slowly
- 10pm go to bed - false toenails feel weird on the sheets, try not to wreck my blowdry, cramps keep coming


Sunday
- 4-45am get up, pee and weigh in. Some toenails missing in action during the night
- 4-55am Renee arrives
- 5am eat oats and protein powder. Drink water + potassium
- 5-15am apply Dream Tan, apply false eyelashes and makeup, fix up hair
- my skin is so dehydrated that I have extra folds of skin inside my elbows. I look like a shrunken old woman
- 6am drink final water + potassium
- double check all items on list are packed
- put everything in the car
- muscle cramps still a problem
- 7am eat chicken and sweet potato
- drive to Castle Hill RSL
- 8am arrive at venue
- 8-15am talk to Coach about cramps who advises stopping the potassium and drinking some Gatorade
- Renee drives to shops to get Gatorade, returns with it and McDonalds breakfast for her and Sue. Smell almost kills me.
- Start eating rice cakes and honey and marshmallows
- Wait while 50 million people register on the day
- Wait some more, eat some more sugar
- Put on bikini to fill in the time
- 10am competitors briefing - told that relaxed pose must be hips square to the judges without an upper body twist
- 10-30am pre-judging starts
- Eat more rice cakes and honey which is starting to taste like crap. Still have flat muscles.
- Called backstage to prepare. Touch up Dream Tan. Reattach rogue eyelashes. Lipstick on. Pump up. Ready to go. Novice lineup is 11 girls
- First to walk on stage due to choosing the lowest number. Slightly nervous. Compulsory poses are before symmetry round.
- Get sent to the back row pretty quickly. 4 or 5 girls keep posing for hours. I continue to smile and hold my "relaxed" pose.
- Leave the stage, put clothes back on and back to the auditorium to watch other divisions.
- Intermission - while outside getting some "fresh air" I am called for drug testing. I sit in the front row waiting for them to be ready for me. The charming man I met yesterday is actually the head judge. He remembers my name and comes over to talk to me. He tells me that I look beautiful, that I should be proud and that I have exceptional stage presence. He noticed that I held my poses the whole time I was on stage. He is very sweet.
- I see the drug doctor who makes me sign a form, strip to my bikini and pee in a cup. He asks about my job and how long I've been competing. When I tell him it's my first time and that I've lost over 20kgs in total, his eyes nearly pop out of his head.
- Called backstage for Masters division. Line up is 8 girls.
- Muscles are looking a bit fuller than during Novice and my veins are starting to just show. Still flat and wrinkled.
- Once again sent to the back row while others continue to pose.
- 2pm LUNCH - the RSL restaurant is packed. Figure girls are eating salad and rice cakes. I remember the Lindy Olsen Vegas story and tell Renee to drive me to McDonalds
- I eat a turkey and cranberry roll, chips, caramel sundae and apple pie. I start drinking water again. It's already decided so it doesn't matter and I'm so hungry and thirsty.
- With a full tummy and the pressure off, it suddenly dawns on me how good I actually look. When the afternoon show starts, I spend the rest of the day flirting with male competitors and helping out the girls backstage. I even manage to give the stage manager a hand to organise everyone. After all, it's what I do (the organise bit not the flirting bit). It's more fun backstage than onstage.
- Warmup for routine and hit my foot on a barbell on the floor - bruise will follow
- When my name is called (incorrectly LOL) I do my routine. I still love it, but the audience is underwhelmed.
- As I leave the stage, the MC calls me to the lectern. He tells the audience a little of my story. Obviously head judge has worded him up. I feel like a celebrity.
- Heels on and back on stage for Novice trophies - get a medal
- 6pm Sue grabs a taxi to the airport - bye
- Wait for Masters to be called. By this stage I don't even take my bag backstage. I just drop my track pants and singlet and throw on my shoes. They all get trophies except us three sad losers (joking) who get another medal. My new best friend Ange who has 4 kids gets second place. I am so pleased for her.
- Bolt out the door removing fingernails and eyelashes simultaneously. Leave favourite hoodie in the auditorium. Can't be bothered going back to get it.
- 8-30pm arrive home. Hubby helps unpack the car. Renee goes home. Bye.
- Wipe of all makeup then head up the street to order takeaway.
- Home for a shower while hubby collects the food.
- So nice to be clean at last.
- Eat dinner consisting of - raisin toast, pizza, licorice bullets, chocolate freckles, apple crumble and icecream, washed down with DIET COKE.
- Watch a bit of TV and go to bed. Have to get up early tomorrow for Spin class.

The end.