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Monday, 29 June 2009

Eating Too Much Compared to What?

I ate a lot of food yesterday. I felt the normal pangs of guilt, self disgust and disappointment because I had a free day and ate until I was stuffed. This morning I kept thinking about what had happened.

If I have a couple of alcoholic drinks, I get drunk very easily. This is because I drink so rarely, that my alcohol tolerance is very low. Do I have a problem with alcohol because when I drink I always get drunk? I don't get drunk by consciously making a decision to do so, it is a consequence of a small amount of alcohol in my system. The difference between sober and happy is one drink, between sober and pissed is only two.

I am thinking that I have the same low tolerance to food. Because I eat such small controlled quantities of food most of the time, when I eat 'normal' portions my stomach gets full long before I have finished enjoying what is on my plate. I am so used to eating the same simple staples that when I eat anything at all processed or sugary, my body has a reaction to it. I feel hot, sweaty, my heart races and eventually I feel sick and disgusting. I wake the next morning with a 'hangover'.

Are any of these symptoms an indication that I am eating too much food? I am eating normal portions, eating the same way my husband and work colleagues eat every single day and yet I beat myself up for eating like a piggy. Are the symptoms nothing more than a low tolerance to a standard diet?

I don't beat myself up when I have two glasses of wine and get pissy by telling myself I am an alcoholic and I need therapy. I recognise that because I don't drink frequently, when I choose to do so, I will react more quickly than others.

When I eat like a normal person, I need to remember that it doesn't mean that I am engaging in unhealthy binge behaviour. I need to recognise that when I choose to include food in my diet that I don't frequently eat, my body will react with a full bloated stomach, uncomfortable physical changes and a hangover the next day.

In the same way that an occasional drink is well deserved, so is a day full of delicious treats. If I can stop translating the physical feelings of discomfort into a sign that I am letting myself down then I might be on to something. A day spent eating the same food my husband eats will leave me feeling like I've just been through a family Christmas with all the trimmings. It doesn't mean I've been on a binge and therefore self flagellation is no longer required.


  1. Interesting theory. I definitely have the same low alcohol tolerance - I'm shocking! Probably explains the 'sugar hangover' I get too. I figure you have to do it occasionally to remind yourself why you don't do it all the time.

  2. My blog takes a very interesting view of the obesity epidemic, the way jealous fat girls trash skinny women and how Americans have become he biggest gluttons in the world.

    It is a quite a train wreck. You may enjoy it.

  3. KatieP8:28 am

    Occasionally is the word - otherwise I would classify myself as a foodaholic who needs therapy =-O

  4. KatieP8:30 am

    Interesting blog Fat Bastard - your view of the world is definitely unique!!

  5. @Em - I agree that it is a great reminder to only indulge occasionally.

    @Fat Bastard - you definitely have a unique and thought provoking view of things. Thanks for stopping by.