The Five Stages of Dieting

Phase 1

You are listening to jazz --
Your first day of dieting is great
Your food is wonderful, your salad is cute,
you love your chicken, and your training is the best!

Phase 2

You are listening to pop music --
After a while you are
so hungry and tired that you are not sure if you're coming or going anymore.

Phase 3

You are listening to heavy metal --
This is what happens after about SIX weeks!

Phase 4

You are listening to hip hop --
You have had a cheat day and got so bloated you don't have any ankles anymore.
You feel sluggish and suffer from constipation.
Your fellow gym goers are too cheerful for your liking and the cat food starts to look attractive.

Phase 5

You are listening to the voices in your head --
You have started popping diet pills and going to bed early so breakfast comes around sooner.
You wonder WHY you are even doing this in the first place and WHY did I want to be skinny anyway!