100 Day Challenge - Day 47 - The Magic Question

Richard turned to me in frustration and said "It really annoys me that the last mail pick up is at 3pm in the afternoon. My morning's are really busy and I don't get to respond to my correspondence until the afternoon but I am never finished by the time the mail is picked up so I am always a day behind. This place is so frustrating!"

So I asked the magic question ..."What would you like instead?"

"That's easy" he said" I'd like the mail to be picked up at 4.30pm."

"Why is that important to you?" I asked

"Because I could get all my work done in the afternoon, sent in the mail that day and my clients would recieve a speedy response from me".

"So go ahead and ask" I said "but instead of saying what you don't want, ask for what you want instead and why."

Richard phoned Alan and instead of saying how annoyed he was about the present situation he said "Hey Alan, I was wondering if we could change the time the courier picks up the mail in the afternoon to a later time. I am finding it difficult to get all my mail ready by 3pm so a 4.30pm final pick up would really help me out."

"No problem" said Alan, "I'll phone the courier service and get that fixed up for you right away".

If Richard had picked up the phone and said "Hey Alan, I am really frustrated about the stupid rule that the last mail pick up is at 3pm, please sort this out" Alan would have felt criticised as well as being responsible for trying to come up with the right solution that would make Richard happy. Alan's response to Richard would have been totally different.

The magic is in asking the Universe/God, yourself and others "what would I like instead? and why?"

I am really cross that I am carrying more weight than I'd like because I've haven't been on plan
I would love to feel at peace with my body, to appreciate it's beauty and eat in a healthy sustainable way so that I can be happy and joyful right here and right now.

It is destructive and self limiting to react badly to a number on the scales and I wish I didn't do it.
I would love to weigh myself without an emotional reaction to the number because it would allow me to be appreciative for my progress and give me feedback on my body's reaction to my choices.

It drives me crazy when you leave your room all messy because you get cranky when you have to spend the weekend cleaning it up.
I would love it if you would pick up your clothes, make your bed and pack away your books in the mornings before you go to school so that you have a relaxing, welcoming space to come home to and you won't have to spend the weekend tidying up a big mess because you will have done a small amount each day.

It is really disappointing that you have made a careless mistake in the estimate and your client is going to be charged more than he expected when he gets the final invoice
I think it would really help you out if you could get someone else to check your estimates before you send them because someone else will be able to see your work with fresh eyes and spot any accidental mistakes. I am happy to do it if you'd like. Then your clients will be amazed at your accuracy and attention to detail when their invoice matches the estimate exactly.


What would YOU like instead? and why is it important to you (or to them)?
Give it a try with you family, friends and co-workers, see what happens and then try it on yourself.

Imagine how wonderful it is going to be when you get what you want ...