... you wouldn't know I used to be fat and therefore you would think my total dedication to eating well and working out was a little obsessive.
Today I went out to lunch with my work colleagues. As I skipped the bread and ordered my meal without potatoes my neighbour at the table made an odd comment. He asked why I needed to be on a "diet" when I was already skinny. He asked why on earth I thought I needed to lose weight.
Now aside from the fact that I am carrying 4kgs of winter padding [which is only apparent if I'm naked, and in this instance I wasn't!], I realised that he didn't know. He didn't know that I used to be fat, and that the only way to prevent being fat again in the future was to not eat bread and potatoes.
Suddenly I realised how odd my behaviour around food at work must seem to those who have only met me in the last two years. All they see is a slim, confident woman, who always passes on the chocolate biscuits, the birthday cake and the potato cakes (as well as not partaking in the copious amounts of alcohol that emerge nearly every Friday night). They assume that I don't eat (or drink) like everyone else because I am trying to LOSE imaginary weight that they can't see. And in their estimation, this is somewhat weird because I am already smaller than every other woman in the room. My neighbour didn't realise that I eat (or don't eat) the way I do, not because I want to lose weight (well I do, but simply avoiding treats at work ain't gonna do it for me this close to the wire), but because I want to maintain the 20kg weight loss I've already achieved.
Today I felt like I should have a fat photo in my purse to prove that I don't have a distorted body image or an eating disorder. Even those who knew me when I weighed 80kgs tell me they can't actually remember noticing I was fat. But I have photographic evidence - I was overweight, I know I didn't imagine it (see attached!!).
My lifestyle choices are odd to most people. In some bizarre way, it is more acceptable to be "watching what you eat" if you are obviously overweight. Once you are on the smaller side of "normal", people think that disciplined eating is somehow unhealthy or even attention seeking. Once they know that you had a "weight problem" it goes towards explaining why you make the choices you do.
I still feel like they think I'm crazy - it's lucky then, that I don't really care what people think! Although I am considering tattooing on my forehead "former fat chick" just so they know without me having to tell them.