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Saturday, 21 July 2007

If you only met me during the past two years ...

... you wouldn't know I used to be fat and therefore you would think my total dedication to eating well and working out was a little obsessive.

Today I went out to lunch with my work colleagues. As I skipped the bread and ordered my meal without potatoes my neighbour at the table made an odd comment. He asked why I needed to be on a "diet" when I was already skinny. He asked why on earth I thought I needed to lose weight.

Now aside from the fact that I am carrying 4kgs of winter padding [which is only apparent if I'm naked, and in this instance I wasn't!], I realised that he didn't know. He didn't know that I used to be fat, and that the only way to prevent being fat again in the future was to not eat bread and potatoes.

Suddenly I realised how odd my behaviour around food at work must seem to those who have only met me in the last two years. All they see is a slim, confident woman, who always passes on the chocolate biscuits, the birthday cake and the potato cakes (as well as not partaking in the copious amounts of alcohol that emerge nearly every Friday night). They assume that I don't eat (or drink) like everyone else because I am trying to LOSE imaginary weight that they can't see. And in their estimation, this is somewhat weird because I am already smaller than every other woman in the room. My neighbour didn't realise that I eat (or don't eat) the way I do, not because I want to lose weight (well I do, but simply avoiding treats at work ain't gonna do it for me this close to the wire), but because I want to maintain the 20kg weight loss I've already achieved.

Today I felt like I should have a fat photo in my purse to prove that I don't have a distorted body image or an eating disorder. Even those who knew me when I weighed 80kgs tell me they can't actually remember noticing I was fat. But I have photographic evidence - I was overweight, I know I didn't imagine it (see attached!!).

My lifestyle choices are odd to most people. In some bizarre way, it is more acceptable to be "watching what you eat" if you are obviously overweight. Once you are on the smaller side of "normal", people think that disciplined eating is somehow unhealthy or even attention seeking. Once they know that you had a "weight problem" it goes towards explaining why you make the choices you do.

I still feel like they think I'm crazy - it's lucky then, that I don't really care what people think! Although I am considering tattooing on my forehead "former fat chick" just so they know without me having to tell them.

4 comments:

  1. You are so right there! I see skinny girls coming into Weight Watchers and I think "what the hell are they doing here, they don't have a weight problem, the bitches"... and then I rethink that... cos they no doubt did at one time and are just maintaining now.... sure takes a while to change your way of thinking towards others eh? Good on you for keeping it up, you look bloody gorgeous and deserve all the looks. Keep avoiding the spuds and bread if that's what works for you. Maybe that is what I need to do too, just say no to carbs. I hardly ever drink either, it's just not worth it. (calories, cost, hangovers)

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  2. Good on you for losing all that weight and maintaining your fabulous healthy new low weight. It is so inspiring. You are absolutely right about people making judgement calls on 'thin' girls and how they should eat and eat and eat. Then if you gained the same people would cast pointed glances at the bread basket if you stuck your chubby hand in it!!! You can't win. I am always told that I don't need to weigh 50 kgs as it is very small. Well - SO AM I. I'm a SMURF.

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  3. So true!!

    During my TAFE course, I had so many people saying "oh, you don't need to lose weight!" or "you don't need to diet!"

    Lucky for me, I had a secret weapon - TAFE had printed my OLD photo onto my current course card, so people got to see a pic of me at 140kg, and kind of realised why I was a little stricter about what I ate than them!!!

    But there will always be people who make those comments, "former fat chick" or not. Some people like to make the comment to feel better about their choices, or themselves.

    You just keep doing what you're doing (and have been doing so successfully!!). :)

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  4. I used to carry my "fat" picture with me everywhere. People would not believe that I was once overweight. When I reach goal this time I'll do it again. Not only as a way to prove it, but as a way to show that low-carb really does work!

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