Weight: 56.4 (124lb)
Yesterday's Food : You have used 1351 out of your net daily budget of 1400 calories and have 49 calories remaining. 16% of the calories are from fat, 39% from protein, 45% from carbs
Exercise : RPM
1 hour 18 min : 648 calories : 166 max hr : 128 average hr
I have a dysfunctional relationship with the scales. I adore seeing the numbers going down each day, so when I get close to goal, I start to panic. Once you get to goal, the daily thrill of decreasing numbers is taken away. It is not quite the same staring at the same number everyday. I can't get my head around celebrating a stable number.
And to make matters worse, I have to prepare myself to start dealing with the number going up every day in less than 3 weeks time.
This love affair with smaller numbers is something I need to change. It is probably why I had a binge on Sunday. I don't want to be finished this exciting roller coaster of dropping weight. I don't want to get to the end of it. Losing scale weight is an intoxicating adrenalin rush. Not healthy I know. It is disordered thinking at best and the slippery slope to something else at worst.
Today I am disappointed that I didn't lose more weight overnight. Intellectually I know it doesn't mean anything but emotionally I am secretly panicked that I've have actually gained more than a kilo of fat from overeating. And don't even suggest that I stop weighing myself everyday ... can't do it.