Shelly told me about the parable of weight training.
Weight training is an earthquake that shakes the building to the ground. The time in between (rest) is when you start constructing the building again, this time stronger than before. If you don't get enough of the building re-built (rest) before the next earthquake it will just come crashing down again and you'll never get anywhere.
Hard dieting and contest prep is the earthquake for me. I decided on Sunday that I was ready for the next earthquake to hit. But my building isn't strong enough mentally and perhaps physically. Just a single day's attempt to cut back on my calories resulted in a binge last night. Not a huge binge but off plan overeating none the less. My brand new, brighter and better building came crashing to the ground.
It seems pointless to set myself up for failure on purpose. Although it is hard to admit, I don't think I can cope with 14 weeks of total dedication for another single day looking fabulous and then blowout on the other side.
It does feel like giving in/up but in some ways this will be more of a challenge. I want to stop ALL bingeing, find my mental and physical maintenance calorie level, train hard and build more muscle, but I also want to relax and be healthy.
Being a figure competitor (the way I do it) is not healthy, and bingeing and restricting is definitely not healthy . My new goal is to maintain the fat levels I have now and treat myself to a holiday in 6 weeks time feeling fit and fabulous.
So ladies and gentlemen - I'm OUT for the comp but IN for a healthy lean life.