Post Comp Week 5 Review

This is my 8th day without a binge - thank God!

I have eaten to plan all week and my weight has stayed stable. Even with all the carbs and the junk food and the odd day when I ate 2,000 calories, I haven't gained any weight all week. If this is maintenance, this is heaven!

I am still constantly amazed that I can eat double what I was living on back in the old days and not gain any fat at all. I wish that all the big girls in the world would pick up some weights and see what happens.

I had my first training session with my new coach this morning. We did shoulders and triceps. It turns out I have been doing at least half of the exercises incorrectly (which won't surprise you Shelley!). It occurred to me that

a) I have got this far totally on my own in the gym with bad technique so imagine how amazing I will look with some professional help

b) I must have good genetics and some natural ability in this sport after all. I must have had good muscles to start with and have built them quite easily. Just because I was out of shape all my life, doesn't mean that I wasn't built to be an athelete.

c) Carrying around a lot a weight for 40 odd years while still be fairly active probably contributed to having these strong capable muscles that have become a real asset.

d) Everyone should spend time with a personal trainer who knows what they are doing. Focus on technique first and foremost even if it means dropping your weights. If you can't feel the muscle screaming, it is probably not working as hard as it could be. The changes are as subtle as keeping your thumb on top of your grip (rather than under the bar) or moving your elbows into a slightly different position.

e) The best part of having a personal trainer is that you get someone to stretch you ... ahhhhh ...

I need to make a decision in the next week as the whether I will compete in October. After all the food sh*t I have been through in the past few weeks I am not certain I am up for the dieting all over again. Part of me wants to throw myself in to it and discover what I am capable of with face to face support. I don't want to have to wait 9 months for the start of the 2009 season. But the other part of me remembers the constant battle, day in day out with my appetite and my cravings.

I think I have almost decided just to go for it no matter what. I might stumble and fall along the way but I will achieve more by trying and failing than by not trying at all.

It is the old story: "Aim at the stars, and you may hit the top of the gatepost; but aim at the ground and you will hit the ground.
It is not to be supposed that any one will attain to the full realization of what she purposes, she will fall short; she will in some measure be overcome by contending or inert opposition. But something she will attain, if she continues to aim high.
~excerpt from THE DOMINANT IDEA
By Voltairine De Cleyre