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Wednesday, 21 January 2009

BFFM Day 30 Carb Down

Weight : 15.5% ~ 9.52/51.88 = 61.4 kg
Training : I can't feel my legs!
Time : 1 hour reading in bed
Month #1 target : 31 Jan : 14.9% ~ 9.10/52.0 = 61.1 kg

Oh my brain is exploding from all the new information - I am especially enjoying Shrink Yourself. Finally I have found some concrete strategies to deal with the 'voice in my head' that constantly criticises me [and sounds like my mother because that's where it comes from].

I am contemplating whether or not my reluctance to give up naughty treats is indicating that I continue to have emotional eating issues. Why do I need junk food and feel deprived without it? Because it gives me momentary pleasure and relief from my feelings?
Because I deserve to eat what I want like everyone else does?
Because I am a rebel and need to break the rules?
Because I am a fraud and my true nature is to just eat crap?

Too much to think about right now. There will be more at a later date.

When your mind is screaming with thoughts, you're willing to run into the comfort of food as a temporary safe-haven-anything for a few minutes of quiet. However, when you shut down your mind too many times with food, binging becomes a compulsion. That means your mind always believes it needs food to deal with stress. Once that happens, you can't control what you eat no matter how hard you try.

When the binge is over, you're filled with regret. Your mind plays a tape of how awful it was that you gave in to the binge. You probably know the words well. But that tape feels better (and more familiar) to your mind than the one that talks about the things you're afraid to face (that could be relationship issues, low self-esteem, career issues, unmet needs). The post-binge guilt gives you something else to think about.

2 comments:

  1. if you eat junk food 'like everyone else does', you will also like 'like everyone else does'.

    go people-watching for an hour and then decide if being like 'everyone else' is what you want.

    xx

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  2. Ooooh thats very close to home Katie. I can totally identify with the quote you posted.

    Magda

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