Fighting the Monkey

I would like to tell you that I handled my first re-feed post comp with perfect control and complete compliance to my plan but it was one of those times where I discovered that although I have come a long way, I still have a long way to go.

The planned date at the burger restaurant was cancelled due to Mr Katiep not feeling 100% and the foul weather. We ended up at the local pub instead.

I had a seafood chowder dish which I didn't really enjoy (but of course ate anyway) with a side of chips. I was looking forward to my cheesecake treat, but the shop was closed for repairs so instead I had a Magnum and the last apricot danish in the freezer.

Once I started on the sugar, I had difficulty stopping. I foraged in the cupboards for more sweets and ended up with a chocolate bar, some lollies, more icecream and a couple of sugar free oat cookies.

All in all it could have been a hell of a lot worse in terms of calorie consumption, but I was disappointed because I still felt like I was under the influence of the Mad Monkey. I didn't feel contented or satisfied with my food, I just wanted more ...

This morning I stayed in bed instead of getting up early and have just had my low carb protein pancakes for breakfast with fake maple syrup and fake icecream. Good(?) food that is physically and psychologically satisfying with no sugar spikes.

What I have learned from all this, is that I need to stick to what I have planned and not just attempt to go 'freestyle', that large amounts of sugar set me off so maybe I should stick to sugar free substitutes, and that my body is wanting to replace the fat that I've lost so it is still fighting me by being hungry all the time.

I might have lost a minor battle last night, but I certainly haven't lost the war!