Thin enough to go to the gym - Part Three

June 2006 saw me cough up my money and enrol in my local WW group. I did the quiz, bought the books and came up with 18 points a day.

A few things bothered me -
1. I was the thinnest person in the group, every week there were new people who never returned and heaps of lifetime members starting again.
2. Everything that had a fat content had more points than it's equal caloric equivalent. In other words - an apple was worth 1 point, but an egg was worth 1.5.
3. The leader was a little flaky - an older lady, still overweight and fairly clueless about nutrition and exercise
4. After a few weeks, the meeting subjects began to get repetitive.

I stuck with it principally because I was eating more than I had on my own devised calorie controlled diet [the under 1000 calories one previously mentioned]. I had decent weight loss and started a new game - how much can I eat and how little can I exercise and still lose weight. Hunger was once again a problem, but I expected that, I was used to that. But the cravings were unbearable. What was I craving? FAT.

Suddenly I found myself wanting deep fried anything. For the first few months I denied myself and exercised my will power. Strangely, my period stopped.

Then I began cheating within points. I can remember being so pleased to discover that a lemon tart from the bakery was an excellent weekend breakfast because it only had 3 points! I could eat junk food as long as I didn't eat as much real food in order to have enough points to cover the indulgence. I ate blocks of chocolate and fish and chips and filled up the rest of the day with "free" veges and low fat dressing. Protein barely got a look in, too many points, I could eat more rice or potatoes instead.

Predictably, my weight loss ground to a halt around the 60kg mark. All that sugar, carbs and trans fatty acids started a miserable cycle of binging and starving. I felt like crap and once again I had devised a way of living that was unsustainable. I made life time member [62kg was my goal weight according to them] and tried to get back under the elusive 60kg without going mental.

Wasn't happening. I wasn't happy - I figured that the WW way was not the KatieP way after all.

After much reading of various diet books, I decided to try low carb. Given my history with Atkins I was a little skeptical because I remember feeling awful on it. I had already given up wheat so giving up sugar, the morning oatmeal and rice was the next step. On 29 October 2006 I 'temporarily' gave up all dry carbs.

As mentioned in my blog around this time, it was hell. I felt grumpy, had no energy and was not enjoying myself. But strangely, I wasn't hungry. After being hungry for almost two years [with some time off for bad behaviour], I felt so relieved.

Anyway, all of the details are now recorded in this blog. I didn't count anything for the first 2 months and I gained about 1 kg a month. In hindsight, I suspect that I might have gained 2 kgs of muscle from eating protein again as I didn't change size and I continued to lift heavy weights. Got serious after Christmas and am still tweaking the right combination of carb, protein, fat and exercise in order to lean out. It is very slow, but I don't mind.

This morning I weighed 60.9kgs.

My diet is roughly 30g carbs : 100g protein : 100g fat = 1400-1500 calories.

A typical day is
B: eggs, LSA, cream cheese
L: tuna or salmon and salad with full fat mayonnaise
D: chicken or fish with veges/salad and cheese
S: nuts sometimes in the afternoon, whipped cream for desert

I am concentrating on whole foods [no protein shakes for me], moderate protein and quite high fat. I surmise that if I am a fat burner now, I should eat fat (mostly olive oil, nuts and butter).

I exercise 4 or 5 times a week. At the moment I am doing compound lifting with heavy weights 4 x a week, 5 reps x 6 sets. This week I have had sore muscles again for the first time in a long time. I do high intensity cardio courtesy of Cardio Coach three times a week. So sometimes I do weights and cardio, sometimes just cardio.

My goal used to by 57kgs but I am not sure anymore. I will be happy if I stabilise at any 50s number, 59.9kg is fine by me. That's less than a kilo away!

The miracle is that finally I can keep living this way indefinitely. This morning I even had some apple with my pancakes. There are so many variations I can try - carb cycling, post workout carb loading [read porridge for breakfast in winter], cheat meals, calorie zig zagging etc.

These are the some of the lessons I have learnt
- low calorie diets eventually lead to metabolic suicide
- exercising too much is just as harmful as not exercising at all
- it is relatively easy to lose weight, but stabilising at a new "set point" takes courage, trickery and many experiments
- the scales don't always tell the truth
- you have to assess your own risks
- playing with your body and mind is really quite fun - it is the one thing you can control
- habits are hard to break - this works in your favour if it's a good habit
- you can change how you feel - it feels good to feel good

... I could go on all night!!!

What is low carb luxury - fried eggs in butter, bacon, eggplant cooked in olive oil, whipped cream, capsicum, carrots, strawberries, lean chicken breasts, chicken wings with the skin on, pan fried salmon, garlic prawns, pizza without the crust, gourmet cheese, low carb maple syrup, sugar free dark chocolate, macadamia nuts, diet coke ... I feel like can indulge every day - so guess what, I don't!! There is so much food to choose from that makes my mouth and my tummy extremely happy that I don't crave anything.

You can keep your bread and rice - I'll take the good low carb stuff!!

Thin enough to go to the gym - Part Two

By the end of July 2005 I was at my lowest weight ever and ready to build a muscular lean body. I had a new gym membership, a personal training session once a week and the enthusiasm to start making the final touches to my new shape.

Now I have detailed records from 1 May 2005 so I can tell you what I ate and how much I worked out over the months following reaching goal. My weight stayed between 58 and 59 kgs but I rarely ate over 1200 calories a day, days under 1000 were frequent. Exercise calories burnt were almost always over 500 a day, some days over 1000 [when I worked out morning and night] and there weren't very many rest days at all. For some reason I stopped recording at the end of September - I can't remember why.

What I do remember vividly is that I was constantly exhausted [are you surprised] and got chest pains just walking down the street. I went to the doctor who sent me for an exercise ECG but I tested completely healthy. No-one knew what was wrong with me [can you say burn out? can you say starving yourself?]. I also remember the constant feeling of panic - if I wasn't losing weight with no food and heaps of exercise, what was going to happen if I ate more and exercised less - oh my god - I would get fat again. I couldn't face the thought that I had to live like this for the rest of my life. To add insult to injury, I wasn't getting those muscles I wanted [and I would be building them with what precisely?] and my knees ached constantly. I lived on painkillers and deep heat.

I thought that the chest pains might be the result of smoking [how else could I suppress my appetite!] so I gave up in December. Once the dam was opened the flood waters were unstoppable - no cigarettes = non-stop eating. I tried to eat healthy but I still gained weight - back up to 64kgs, I stopped sleeping properly and kept bursting into tears. Now I was trying to lose weight again while constantly battling hunger and some weird depression thing!

This went on for a few months until March 06 when I went overseas again to work. I hated the job, hated being away from home, I found it hard to exercise [no gym at the hotel], nowhere to cook, eating foreign food [especially difficult in the USA where EVERYTHING has sugar in it including wholemeal bread], and long working hours with no real meal breaks.

I tried but my typical day was a morning walk, a few body weight exercises, a healthy breakfast, a bit of fruit for lunch, no time for dinner, ending with a treat/binge on the way home from work [late at night after a crappy day]. I ate heaps of croissants, chocolate, iced buns, muffins - you should see what you can buy in a US all night store - all the carbohydrates that I craved.

I came home in May 2006 and I weighed almost 68kgs. Some of my clothes were too small - lucky for me I had clothes in every size [16, 14, 12, 10, 8] so I moved up to the 10s again. Time to start again but now I needed help. This time I headed for Weight Watchers.

Stay tuned for Part Three - Low Fat Misery vs Low Carb Luxury.

PS: I just read this back - I have realised that I came dangerously close to an eating disorder - wow that's scary ... the next installment chronicles improvement I promise so don't worry!!

PSS: Read this blog Skwigg Blog which summarises all the hard lessons I had to figure out for myself. Do what this says and you won't go through all the rubbish I have. If there is a secret to being healthy and fit - this is it !!! I kid you not - so go read it, print it and do it!! So there!! :)

Thin enough to go to the gym - what does that mean?

Now that I have at least 3 or 4 regular readers of my blog, I thought I would tell the story of how I got to this point in my weight loss journey. I will also help me remember what I have achieved in the past two years because I realise that I haven't written it down anywhere.

This will help explain the title of my blog as well.

Let's go way back to the beginning. When I was a child I was skinny and active. A budding ballerina. I loved ballet and was quite good at it. Then came the dreaded puberty. Although I was late in developing [I didn't get my period until I was almost 14] my body changed and became fatter and fatter. By the time I left school I was a big girl.

I can't remember what I weighed but I can remember going on every diet imaginable. I tried the Hollywood diet [lots of pineapple I think!], Atkins [done really badly - just cheese and meat], and a whole lot of others. Nothing worked because I never stuck to it - I would lose weight and then put it straight back on. The most success I had was with Jenny Craig but the weight came back once I stopped eating their pre-packaged food.

By the time I was in my early 20s, and a size 14, I was so sick of dieting that I gave it up for good. I just ate what I wanted when I wanted it and surprisingly I ended up a size 12 without trying for the next 20 odd years. In those days, I didn't really even think about food. I never ate breakfast and my food preferences were carbohydrates over protein. Lunch was normally a sandwich [turkey, cranberry sauce, swiss cheese and mushroom on turkish bread] and dinner was pasta. A few croissants and chocolates along the way but nothing particularly bad.

Part One - Losing the Weight

Fast forward to October 2004 when I turned 40. All of I sudden I realised that I couldn't fit into a size 14 anymore. The last pairs of pants/jeans I had bought were a size 16. I didn't know how much I weighed because I didn't have a scale, but I was overweight and uncomfortable. Now knowing how much I loved Christmas I decided to start my new life on 1 January 2005.

The first thing I did was buy a set of 4kg dumbells and do the exercise program set out in "8 minutes in the morning" 6 days a week. I got up 15 minutes earlier and did 2 weight lifting exercises each day 12 reps x 4 sets. I also started drinking water and watched what I ate. My staple at work lunch was muesli and yoghurt and just a normal dinner. No sweets, no treats, no snacks, no calorie counting.

After two weeks I stood on the scales at the shopping centre and the print-out said 76kg. I assume my starting weight was about 80kg but will never know.

It took me about 6 months to lose 20kgs. I made changes along the way - did more weights, started eating breakfast, started counting calories, walked everwhere. I even went to England to work for 2 weeks and came home lighter. By July 2005 I weighed about 59kg and was wearing a size 8. I was sleeping less, had more energy, had muscles and was very pleased with myself. I went on a holiday to Daydream Island and spent most of my time in the gym or running the bushwalk. When I got home I weighed 57.5 kgs. I was ready for the big time - I joined the gym!

My husband commented that I was the only person he knew who lost weight and worked out before they joined the gym. I had to be thin enough to go to the gym because I wouldn't be seen dead in one when I was overweight!!

You would think that would be the end of the story. Maintained my significant weight loss and lived happily every after ... but of course you know that didn't happen.

Stay tuned for Part Two - struggling to stay thin and then getting fat again ...