I have been reading your comments and posts about whether or not being thin makes you happy. I know (!) you are all waiting with baited breath to know my opinion.
First let me share with you today's events that have me wondering about this whole issue.
Today was the "last day of school" for the team I manage. So we spent the morning spring cleaning the office and our (well MY) desk and then headed out for lunch and a swim at the local pool.
One of my girls is only 24 and overweight. Not hugely obese, just a solid size 16. When we got to the pool she changed into her bathing suit -- a bikini.
I was wearing a bikini too, but I had spent this morning trying on every single one I own and looking at myself in disgust at how huge and blubbery I looked.
Bikini girl waltzed out of the changing room, jumped into the pool and then swanned around baking in the sun. Half way through the afternoon she treated herself to an icy pole iceblock. She had no issue with her body. I doubt how she looked even crossed her mind. It just wasn't relevant. She has true self confidence and self esteem.
I looked at her larger than 'normal' body sitting next to me, and felt a brief pang of envy. I am not always that confident. I have cellulite, I have stretch marks and elephant skin. I wasn't "allowed" an icy pole. She is more beautiful than me because she loves herself and is happy in her skin.
I have body image issues. My own personal standards of perfection (not those that I apply to other people) guarantee that I will never be thin enough, or muscly enough to be 'happy' with how I look. I don't expect any other 43 year old to look like a 20 year old genetically gifted fitness model, but I want it for myself.
But in some ways, Bikini Girl and I are alike. We are both happy inside no matter what the outside looks like, maybe in spite of it. She might think I am more beautiful than her because I'm 'petite' (her word for me). She might have the odd pang of envy too, but I bet it wouldn't last long!