Intellectually vs Emotionally

First of all thank you to all my regular visitors who delurked for the first time. And of course thanks to my regular regulars for adding your thoughts as well. Reading through your positive comments made my day yesterday and today. Blog love was definitely forthcoming.

I have been doing well this week and have eaten good food. If I have been hungry I have been having extra fruit which appears to do wonders at cleaning me out so to speak.

This morning I was brave enough to step on the scales. The number was not at all nice and is nearly back where I started my pre-contest diet. So after I had my shower this morning I grabbed a pair of pants that fitted me before I lost weight. After all, the scales told me that I had gained nearly all that weight back again, therefore, I needed my "off season" clothes.

As I was running late (as always) and dressing is the last thing I do before I run out the door, I didn't really pay much attention to what I was wearing. By the time I had walked to the ferry stop it was blatantly obvious that I had made a huge miscalculation somewhere along the way. My "off season" pant were in real danger of falling down of their own accord. With my giant sports bag containing all my food supplies in one hand, and my umbrella in the other, there were several close calls during the trip. I had to make an emergency stop at the corner store to buy safety pins to hold up my pants.

Intellectually I know that the scales don't tell the whole story, but emotionally I never quite believed that you can be heavier and still be smaller. To my detriment it would seem. I have somehow, against all odds, achieved a freaky (in a good way) re-composition of my body that points towards gaining only some fat, and a lot of muscle. Although my "competition" wardrobe is slightly tight and uncomfortable, I am by no means carrying as much fat as I was last time I weighed this much. I have no idea where the extra scale weight is coming from, aside from the fact that the sleeves on some shirts seem tight and I am possibly broader across the back (and my period still hasn't arrived).

So don't let your progress be measured by scale weight only. In my case, I am not talking about an increase of just a couple of kilos, I am talking about more than 4 and closer to 5. Emotionally, this scale jump is devastating, I felt I had undone all the work I had put in for 4 long months in a matter of weeks. But if my clothes are to be believed, I am still nearly as tiny around my hips and butt as I was 4 weeks out from comp. This is somewhat of a miracle.

In other news, today I embraced the concept of post training nutrition, by having a special concoction of Surge, L-Glutamine and Creatine as soon as I got home from the gym. I never really went for the idea before because I couldn't see the point of drinking all those extra calories in some chalky old shake when I'd rather eat real food. I think that I may become a convert because today an extraordinary thing happened. I didn't get hungry at 11am and I could hardly finish my lunch. I went to a function tonight during the DANGER zone (5pm-7pm) (where the Prem1er and Deputy Prem1er thanked me for my Cath0l1c contribution) and only ate the vegetables and prawns (no crackers or turkish bread). When I came home late, there was pizza on the kitchen counter that I didn't even want. I had a couple of eggs for dinner instead and was perfectly satisfied. I wasn't ravenously hungry all day.

This second miracle may have been due to something else entirely, but if having a 160 calorie shake post workout curbs my hunger for the whole day, then I'm so sorry I never tried it before. There is a very real chance that my muscles are normally crying out all day long for the nutrients they need and never getting them. Once I fed the little suckers, the hunger went away.

I think I am only allowed the magic potion if I weight train, and it's RPM tomorrow so I'll miss out on the Surge. But it could even be just the L-Glutamine (which I am to have every day) as Dr Google does mention it helps with cravings and optimum intestinal functioning (although it is meant to take a week for it to take effect).

I have also been listening to some kooky hypnosis tracks by Wendi Friesen about being in control of my food (I have no idea where I got them from but they are on my ipod) and I think that is helping too.

All in all, things are going much better - thank goodness!
(do all my asides in brackets get annoying???)