Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want

I have spent a long time wanting something.

First of all I wanted to be super lean, lean enough to compete in a Figure competition. The thought of that future goal kept me dieting and training hard for 4 months.

Once I had what I wanted, I wanted something else entirely. I wanted to eat lots of unhealthy food, I wanted to be able to go out to breakfast and order whatever I wanted, I wanted to only train if I felt like it. I wanted to end the feelings of deprivation.

Once I had what I wanted - I now want something else entirely. I want to lose the fat that I've gained in the past 3 months and go back to being super lean.

If I constantly live in a state of 'wanting', when I get what I want, I start wanting something else. I am attracting more 'want' by my thought processes.

When I say I want to be lean, I am really saying I want the way lean makes me feel. I want to feel in control, proud of my commitment and achievements and the envy of other people (who never notice how lean I am anyway!). Is there a way of instead of wanting these feelings, I can chose them right now?

I am going to re-frame these thoughts by picturing a big long trestle table laden with all the things I can have right now.

At one end there is a box brightly wrapped with a huge bow. This box is easily opened to reveal eating healthy below my energy needs. Hidden at the bottom of the box is some tiredness, and some hunger but also an imaginery device that melts away small amounts of body fat.

At the other end there is another box brightly wrapped with a huge bow. This box is easily opened to reveal a gourmet meal of all my favourite foods. Hidden at the bottom of the box is a tiny bit of bloating and sickness and depending on the size of the meal, perhaps a little fat that will be attached to my thighs and stomach.

There is a box with hard training inside that has tiredness and DOMs hidden at the bottom along with the melting device.

There is box of rest that has a muscle growing device included, or a feeling of sloth depending on when the box is utilised.

There is a box for supplements and a box for water ... you get the idea.

The box in the right in the middle is perfect balance which is just the right amount of healthy vs indulgent food, the right amount of training and has NO hidden extras - the fat just stays put.

I can only choose one box at a time. At any given moment I have a choice. I just need to determine my preference at that moment and choose the right box.

If I prefer to burn fat from my body, I choose lean healthy food, and some feelings of hunger.

If I prefer to maintain my present body fat, or add a little more, I choose indulgent eating.

If I prefer to feel strong and energised, I choose to train hard in the gym.

If I prefer to be rested and lower on energy, I choose not to train on a scheduled training day.

If I prefer to explore my ability to meet the challenge of hunger and discomfort, I choose to eat below my energy needs.

The point is that there is always a choice based on my preferences at that moment. There is only this moment right now to make a difference to how I feel and how my body is effected. I am now able to experience a feeling of control all the time.

I am not 'wanting' anything, nor am I putting up with something in the present in order to get a payoff in the future. I am CHOOSING, right here, right now, today. I am in control.