When I was sixteen I fell in love with a boy. He was handsome, gentle and kind and I every time I saw him my heart skipped a beat. I was certain I would spend the rest of my life with him.
We broke up because I moved to Australia and he stayed in NZ. There was never a proper end to the relationship, just lingering thoughts of "I wonder what would have happened if ..."
He is enshrined in a special untouchable place in my heart. Sometimes he sneaks into my dreams and I am transported back to the time when we were together. In my memory he never grows old, he has never disappointed me and he will always be perfect.
What would happen if I met him today. Would we long for each other and not do anything (we're both married to different people) or would we find our desire irresistible and fall into each others arms?
My love affair with processed non-nutritious food is just the same. I remember with fondness how good those calorie laden fat filled foods tasted. I have enshrined them as perfect.
But I have met these foods again recently and they have all disappointed me. The hot chips are greasy and tasteless, the hamburger lacks enough salad and a grainy roll, and cake is just far too sweet. It is as if I have found them on f@cebook and have discovered they are lazy, bald and holding down a dead end job. The memory outstrips the reality.
So I encourage you to allow yourself to 'indulge' in the food that you are convinced you are missing out on. The things that you feel that you have given up in order to live a lean and healthy life. I suspect that you might find that you don't want them after all.
By eating my most favourite treats over the last few weeks I don't even desire them any more. They have been demoted from the "most wanted" list permanently. Healthier alternatives actually taste better.
I can't really think of much that still remains. It is very freeing to finally break up with your first love and have absolutely no regrets.
(ps: I have actually seen my first love a couple of times since our separation [my best friend in NZ is married to his brother] and there is nothing wrong with him, but we never would have made it. He is far too passive to have ever held my interest. There were no sparks, just relief that Mr Katie was perfect for me after all!)