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Friday, 7 November 2008

30 Hours

I am in the midst of having my teeth all fixed up. It involves two implants and 6 crowns which is an awful lot of money. The dentist told me on Wednesday that the one thing that can jeopardize the healing of implants is smoking. So on Thursday morning I gave up.

I smoked my last cigarette on Thursday at 11-15am.

Last night I didn't sleep much at all. I got up this morning at 5am and stood on the scales and burst into tears. I dressed for the gym and got half way down the road and burst into tears and came home. Someone disagreed with me at work so I went to the ladies and burst into tears.

I was completely miserable today and couldn't tell the difference between wanting a cigarette and being hungry. Last time I gave up (for three months), I gained 4 kilos. The thought of 4 more kilos and being hungry all day made me burst into tears for the 5th or 6th time today. At 5:15pm I smoked a cigarette. I endured 30 hours of agony. Then I gave in.

I am addicted to nicotine and I need to get off it some day. But not today. Not while I'm dieting, preparing for 1d0l finals, and trying to drop 5 kilos in 5 weeks. I can't do it.

I have a plan though. I will give up on 1 January 2009 (my implants are scheduled for the 5th) and then I will have two weeks off work so I can cry all I like, get as fat as a pig and not bother anyone.


  1. i highly recommend zyban. i stopped smoking after 15 years without a glitch.

    i social smoked about a year after and i did that for a few more years until a trip to hospital in a ambulance and a very real feeling of looming death happened.

    it's fucking RETARDED.

    stop smoking, because soon your lovely husband will be shopping for a small thin coffin and he'll be crying.

    nobody will give a shit that you are thin and dead or fat and dead. just dead.


  2. Make sure you only give up when you are truly ready!!! I used to smoke a pack a day and gave up on New Years 8 years ago and haven't looked back. It was bloody hard but once you get past the first few weeks it does get easier.Work out why you are giving up and reminder yourself of it every single day. I was working in pubs when I gave up and surrounded by smoke and smokers although still managed to do it! If you want it bad enough you can do it. I actually found embarking on a fitness routine and dieting at the same time helped give me focus and stopped me from gaining weight. You can do this you just need to want it badly enough!!!!

  3. Leeanne8:54 pm

    I recommend muzzstop, (google it) my husband gave up really easy and didn't gain any weight. I know it varies from person to person, but its worth a try. He now hates even the smell of smoke.

  4. Anonymous10:58 pm

    sounds like a plan- why not try the patch? i don't think the nicotine is what's bad for your implants to heal- it is the inhaling the smoke and the rest of the chemicals in the ciggy.

  5. Anonymous6:32 am

    Katie - I'm a smoker - gave up a few years ago then the nicotine buddy reared his ugly head back in January 08 - i havent stopped since. I KNOW how bad they are, the long/short term effects, but habits are so hard to break. I have managed to cut back to 5 a day, and i'm on the menthols 1mg's - so not TOO bad (i know none is better)

    Dont be too hard on yourself, try cutting back and go from there


  6. Kitty - I totally agree smoking is bollocks. I am thinking about the Zyban.

    Hilds - you must have been determined doing it while working in a pub!

    Leanne - Muzzstop sounds interesting but there is no one in Sydney that does it

    Mrs K - I was trying to do it without patches because it's the addiction I need to break and it is still putting nicotine into your system. Might need to rethink that! (implants is sounding like new boobies!)

  7. Miss Fern - menthols 2mg for me too but I smoke way more than 5 a day.

    See you tomorrow YAH!!