Unrestrained Joy

This is a guest post from Kate A originally posted on the Open Forum. With her permission I have posted it here so we can all share her beautiful writing and honest reflection.

If you leave enough comments we might persuade her to start her own blog? If you would like to guest post on my blog, please see the guidelines here.

♥♥♥

I was laying in bed this morning and my son saw the box of mixed choccies that I was given for Christmas. He brought them over and we lay together and ate some. I didn’t think about it. I enjoyed sampling some with him.

Then…yes, then…the voice began: “Um, that is off plan. You need to do a run and all this extra lard is stopping you from trying harder.” Can you guess what happened next? Uh huh, I stopped and felt awful. Those beautiful 10 mins were wiped away in seconds.

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The Creature and the Computer

From: The 4 Day Win by Martha Beck

Stage 1 ~ Pre-Contemplation ~ The Creature and the Computer

Most diet experts tell us to think of the body as a computer programmed to take instructions from the mind. Only the mind acts like a machine, your body is not a computer, it is a creature.

Your body speaks creature and your mind speaks computer. The Body Whispering exercise forces your computer self to find the creature words for “I come in peace”.  The medium for this communication is not thinking, but feeling.

Allowed to function as nature intended, your creature-self will stop eating when two conditions are met (1) it senses that you aren’t hungry any more (not that you’re full, but that you’re NOT hungry) and (2) it’s confident there will be no food shortage in the foreseeable future.

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Deprived of Connection and Belonging

Sometimes you stumble upon the thread at the end of the scarf that once pulled, unravels the whole garment.

This describes me exactly ~

Most of us former dieters are afraid of being deprived. We believe that trying to lose weight means that we will be deprived of joy, connection, foods we love, or a sense of belonging.

Many diets that restrict us from eating in a normal way exacerbate these feelings. We have to prepare or order tasteless food. We can’t join in with cocktails or dessert and we can’t relax because we have to stay in control to prevent a slip in our diet.

Unfortunately, to many of us, this is a familiar feeling. We may have grown up feeling disconnected from people around us in our families or in our schools. We use diets to repeat this pattern; isolation ensues. We believe deprivation feels awful. Deprivation from food is one thing, but deprivation from love and connection is worse.

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Body Whispering

From: The 4-Day Win by Martha Beck

Stage 1 ~ Pre-Contemplation ~ Body Whispering

If you have ever seen a horse or dog being trained through brute force and punishment you will observe the creature become panicked and frightened. Panicked and frightened animals often lash out and attack those trying to control them. And it gets worse the more you try to “pull them into line”.

Animals rely on their instincts to stay alive. If they are treated like prey, then their instincts is to run first, and then to fight if they are cornered.

The only way to successfully rehabilitate an abused animal is through trust and kindness in a safe environment. Horse whisperers and dog whisperers use these techniques to calm even the most violent and disturbed animals.

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Famine Brain ~ The Fattening Way to Lose Weight

From: The 4 Day Win by Martha Beck

Stage 1 ~ Pre-Contemplation ~ Famine Brain

Fact: Your brain is an astonishing complex and powerful instrument specifically evolved to keep you from losing weight.

Fact: Because it is an evolutionary imperative, eating is highly rewarding physically and psychologically. Not eating food makes us hungry, but it also makes us afraid.

Fact: Dietary restriction and strenuous exercise cause the brain to fixate on finding food and comfort, while pumping out hormones that signal the body to lay in supplies by becoming more sedentary  and storing fat.

Fact: Famine responses are far stronger than conscious intention. They are will outwit, outplay and outlast your attempts to diet by will power.

Fact: Eating less and being hungry will escalate your stress responses until they make you want to everything in sight and they will also cause your personality to change (not for the better!)

Fact: Read about the Ancel Keys Minnesota Starvation Experiment 1950

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Eat Less, Move More ~ Just Do It!

Introduction to The 4-Day Win by Martha Beck

We share a cultural belief that a combination of information and willpower should be enough to ensure compliance with any weight loss program. Eat less, move more, just do it! If this worked, we would all be thin already. Martha tell us that there is something amiss in our diet strategy.

The problem isn’t that we don’t know what to do, the problem is that we don’t do what we know. Why not? Contrary to conventional wisdom, the most compelling answer is not in our refrigerators, our restaurants, our mouths, our stomachs, our weak wills, or our basically vile and godless natures. It’s in our heads.

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