Do You Want It Bad Enough?

Is there any area in your life where you have great success without really having to work that hard at it? Is there something you are just naturally good at?

For me, I've always had financial security and a wonderful marriage. I was asking myself today why both of these areas have seemed to just 'drop into my lap' without any struggle.

The thing that springs to mind is that I am not attached to either material possessions or a 'happily ever after' romance. I don't NEED money to be happy and I don't NEED a relationship to be happy either. And because of that lack of attachment, both those things are bountiful in my life. I am extremely grateful and appreciate what I have (another clue?) and I enjoy every day that I have more money than I need and I am truly loved. Yet I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if either or both disappeared tomorrow I would be sad for the loss but not in any way completely crushed. My identity does not lie in material wealth or being with another person.

It's that old story about when you go for an interview for a job you don't want that much, or stop looking for a relationship that you get those things. It seems that our ability to let go of the desire ensures we end up getting those things despite our neutral feelings.

Do you really NEED to have a body that is in it's top physical condition? Must you always eat on plan and on schedule to feel in control? Are you consumed by the latest diet and training program? How bad do you want it?

Maybe the intensity of your desire is what prevents you from getting what you want? Maybe wanting it bad means you're never going to get it, or if you do, you will be consumed by the fear of losing it.

Let it go ... life is about happiness, honesty, growth and experience and the money, relationship and banging body will be the icing on the cake.

Do I want it bad enough? Nah, but it will probably turn up sooner or later without me having to struggle for it.

(Note: being financially secure, in a good relationship and having a lean, fit, healthy body all still require EFFORT (going to work, loving my partner, eating healthy food, training) and the effort is what brings happiness - not the expectancy of reward some time in the future.)

How To Be Healthy Without Being Control-Freaky

Yesterday Diana asked this interesting question which gave me pause ...

But would you say it is possible to get to all these benefits WITHOUT going through all the control-freaky, tough parts first?

The reason that things have changed so dramatically is because my only intention every moment is to take great care of myself body, mind and spirit. When I was just focused on how I looked and a number on the scale, I was living solely in my mind (rules, plans, maths, goals, to-do lists, success/failure judgement, guilt, no pain no gain, etc.) My new approach is based on a balance between head, heart and health.

Head [mind]
I am motivated to eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, meditate and relax because my belief system is now based on holistic health. I use my brain to assess data, apply knowledge and analyse feedback. It doesn't make strict rules but gentle negotiable guidelines. If I stop consulting my mind I live in anarchy without a system and without boundaries.

Heart [spirit]
I listen to my heart which lets me know when I'm on the right track. By having an open heart I am responsive to connecting with other people and nature and my focus is outward rather than inward. My feelings and emotions are chosen and not dictated by what I do or think. I concentrate on who I am, my values and simply being me - warts and all. There is no self judgement and no sense of being a victim. If I reject my uniqueness then I deny my divinity. I deeply and completely love and accept myself. If I stop consulting my spirit I live in selfishness, emotional chaos and self hate.

Health [body]
I prefer clean, healthy food. I prefer vegetables and fruit over cakes and biscuits. I am in tune with my body and know what is hunger, what is a legitimate craving (I'm deficient) and what is an emotional craving. I know how particular foods make me feel over the hours they are digesting in my system. I know my protein, carbs and fat and I know when more of one or the other is needed. I prefer to exercise my body so that I am fit and strong because I have more energy when I do. It is not a chore, it is a daily indulgence. If I stop consulting my body I eat crappy food, don't get enough sleep, over or under exercise and feel uncomfortable in my skin.

So it's all about balance ~ searching for and finding that place where all three areas have equal input. The traditional weight loss approach would seem to focus on the head only. It seems to me that the eat less/move more prescription rarely works in isolation and results in (a) giving up because it's all too hard or (b) getting all control-freaky.