How To Be Healthy Without Being Control-Freaky

Yesterday Diana asked this interesting question which gave me pause ...

But would you say it is possible to get to all these benefits WITHOUT going through all the control-freaky, tough parts first?

The reason that things have changed so dramatically is because my only intention every moment is to take great care of myself body, mind and spirit. When I was just focused on how I looked and a number on the scale, I was living solely in my mind (rules, plans, maths, goals, to-do lists, success/failure judgement, guilt, no pain no gain, etc.) My new approach is based on a balance between head, heart and health.

Head [mind]
I am motivated to eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, meditate and relax because my belief system is now based on holistic health. I use my brain to assess data, apply knowledge and analyse feedback. It doesn't make strict rules but gentle negotiable guidelines. If I stop consulting my mind I live in anarchy without a system and without boundaries.

Heart [spirit]
I listen to my heart which lets me know when I'm on the right track. By having an open heart I am responsive to connecting with other people and nature and my focus is outward rather than inward. My feelings and emotions are chosen and not dictated by what I do or think. I concentrate on who I am, my values and simply being me - warts and all. There is no self judgement and no sense of being a victim. If I reject my uniqueness then I deny my divinity. I deeply and completely love and accept myself. If I stop consulting my spirit I live in selfishness, emotional chaos and self hate.

Health [body]
I prefer clean, healthy food. I prefer vegetables and fruit over cakes and biscuits. I am in tune with my body and know what is hunger, what is a legitimate craving (I'm deficient) and what is an emotional craving. I know how particular foods make me feel over the hours they are digesting in my system. I know my protein, carbs and fat and I know when more of one or the other is needed. I prefer to exercise my body so that I am fit and strong because I have more energy when I do. It is not a chore, it is a daily indulgence. If I stop consulting my body I eat crappy food, don't get enough sleep, over or under exercise and feel uncomfortable in my skin.

So it's all about balance ~ searching for and finding that place where all three areas have equal input. The traditional weight loss approach would seem to focus on the head only. It seems to me that the eat less/move more prescription rarely works in isolation and results in (a) giving up because it's all too hard or (b) getting all control-freaky.

100 Day Challenge - Day 63 - Empowering Beliefs

So now I have identified and deconstructed my limiting beliefs, I have re-written them to be empowering and enabling.

♥ 55kg is the best that I can be and I deserve to be my best self. With new tools and new beliefs I will create and keep my new body. My body and my mind are inseparable so my thoughts are what matters and they can be changed in an instant.

♥ I can reset my happy weight to anywhere I choose. There are naturally lean people who easily maintain a a low BF%. I have 5 years of wisdom, progress and experience that makes my evolution simple and natural. I have achieved so much in the past while holding on to my limiting beliefs, imagine what I can achieve now I have inner alignment!

♥ Losing fat is an exciting adventure when combined with my desire for total health and constant balance. By eating whole food in appropriate amounts (not too little or too much) my body can release the fat without being constantly hungry. I am not required to be perfect, I just need make continuous improvements.

♥ Being naturally lean as a result of balance and health is energising, liberating and taps into unbelievable reserves of peace and contentment. I deeply and completely love and accept myself right here and now so that I can thrive and grow.

♥ Feeling peaceful, energised and free will make me attractive from the inside out. My husband will fall in love with me all over again each day that I am balanced and centred. My happiness is contagious and I always let in the light.

♥ It is easy and effortless for me to be lean because I have the advantage of a muscular metabolism, solid exercising habits and a preference for healthy food. I am always in tune with my miraculous body - I am conscious and present.

• What about your new beliefs?
• Have you written them down yet today? ... and tomorrow? ... keep writing them down daily until they become a part of you ...
  

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100 Day Challenge - Day 64 - Limiting Beliefs

What is your goal for this 100 Day Challenge? What is it that you really want to achieve by the beginning of November?

When you think of this goal, ask yourself these questions

• Is the goal desirable or worthwhile?
• Is it possible for others?
• Is it possible for me?
• Is what it takes to achieve this goal appropriate and reasonable?
• Do I deserve it?

Did you answer 'No' to any of these questions? Or were you like me and answered 'No' to nearly all of them?

Is it any wonder that there is an ongoing struggle to get where we want to go? Part of us believes that we won't actually make it while the other parts of us just keep on trying.

A belief is what you hold to be true without any conclusive evidence. If there was irrefutable evidence - it would be a fact that applied to everyone in every situation.

Explore your beliefs by answering completing this sentence -
I can't lose weight/maintain my goal weight because ...

I can't get back down to 55kg and stay there because ...

♥ 55kg is too lean and my body revolts by making me binge (It is not possible for me)
♥ 60kg is my happy weight and I always go back to it no matter what (It is not possible for me)
♥ To lose weight (at a snail's pace) I have to restrict my calories and I get tired, cranky and can't sleep (It takes inappropriate and unreasonable effort to achieve my goal)
♥ Being thin is hard, bony and painful - it makes everything sharp and miserable (This goal is not desirable or worthwhile)
♥ My husband doesn't find me attractive when I am lean (This goal is not desirable or worthwhile)
♥ No one who has had weight issues has ever maintained a low body fat percentage outside of competing (It is not possible for others)

Holy fuck Batman -- there's a revelation -- I actually believe these things in my heart of hearts. No wonder every day is an exhausting relentless battle ...

The next step is to examine and question these beliefs and look for conflicting evidence. Put them on the witness stand and let the opposing council cross examine them.

♥ 55kg is too lean and my body revolts by making me binge
My body doesn't care what it weighs, it just reacts to weeks and months of severe calorie restriction and swings in the opposite direction trying to find balance. If I lose fat easily, effortlessly and joyfully in a sustainable way I won't awaken the binge monster or be plagued by constant hunger and feelings of deprivation. I have experience in what doesn't work for me -- cycles of under eating and over eating (refeeds) set me up for starve/binge behaviour.

♥ 60kg is my happy weight and I always go back to it no matter what
My body thought 85kg was my happy weight for nearly all of my adult life and I reset it down to 60kg through willpower and determination alone. How much easier is it going to be now to settle at a lower number now I have new tools and skills.

♥ To lose weight (at a snail's pace) I have to restrict my calories and I get tired, cranky and can't sleep
Losing fat through a consistent slight calorie deficit is a brand new challenge and challenges excite and inspire me. Because I am eating clean, real food, and making small and frequent corrections every day, my body now has the hormones, enzymes and nutrients to get rid of excess fat easily. Having more energy than ever before and a fully operating digestive system (I poop every day without assistance for the first time in my life) tells me that my body is working as it should. I can trust this body that keeps my heart beating, my lungs breathing and sickness and disease away to access my energy storage (fat) when I expend more calories than I eat.

♥ Being thin is hard, bony and painful - it makes everything sharp and miserable
How my body looks doesn't dictate how I feel - whether fat or thin my feelings originate in my head and my heart. I can change how I feel in an instant. I associate thinness with pain because I have only achieved it in the past through restriction, discipline, and delayed gratification. I am learning how to be lean while being happy, peaceful and contented every single day, not just that day in the future when I see a number on the scale.

♥ My husband doesn't find me attractive when I am lean (this has been confronting and painful to say out loud)
He is still here. He hasn't left me or changed the way he treats me. He loves me no matter what and just wants me to be happy. He has associated my leaness with me being miserable, tired, and uninterested in sex -- I guess that is pretty unattractive. If I was sick with cancer and my hair fell out he would still love me. He is not in the same shape that he was 20 years ago and I still love him to death. He is proud that I am slender and take good care of myself compared to the overweight wives of his friends. He loves what is inside me and is attracted to my sense of fun, my kindness and optimism which are the things that disappear when I am fighting to lose weight.

♥ No one who has had weight issues has ever maintained a low body fat percentage outside of competing
There are three women at work and a whole country full of women (Japan) who have very low levels of body fat and stay that way without counting calories or carbs, logging hours in the gym and obsessing over their scale weight. I want to be like them rather than like a competitor who maintains competition leaness through will power and discipline alone (you know who I mean!). It should be even easier for me to stay lean than naturally thin girls because I have much more muscle which gives me a higher metabolism than them.

As this has turned into an essay, I will post my new beliefs tomorrow.

• What are your limiting beliefs?
• How do they hold up under scrutiny?
• If you are having trouble seeing the other side of the argument, post a comment and we'll give you an objective point of view?
• Are you brave enough to identify even your beliefs that are embarrassing or painful?

If you get through this exercise then you deserve as many BONUS BONES as you want -- it is not easy and rather confronting (beware: it may prompt avoidance behaviour - eat/binge/clean the bathroom instead of working through the issues).


For more information on the program I am following that has sparked all these new ideas check out the Inside Out Weight Loss FREE podcast and start from the first episode 00: Prologue.

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